ellynet

Things that suck about DrawSomething

elly — Tue, 03 Apr 2012 03:44:58 +0000

The obsession with DrawSomething, the latest craze in social bathroom time gaming, tends to begin rather innocently. The words you’re given to play are new, fresh and challenging. You start off playing during bathroom breaks, or waiting in line. It’s easy. It’s fun.

My personal journey with DrawSomething began as an interesting way to socialize with my friends that enriched our friendships.

But things grow dark quickly in the world of DrawSomething.

A week after I started playing, I had 30 more friends to play with thanks to the Facebook Connect feature. I would take a longer lunch break just to take my turn with all thirty games. I became impatient. The quality of my drawings decreased as I rushed through it. I was spreading myself too thin.

I started to get more and more anxious. I had my alerts on, so throughout the day my phone would tell me “Your buddy wants to play! Take your turn now!” My friends were reaching out through my iPhone, yelling “Play with me! Play with me!” And why should I deny this?

The more I played, the more reasons I came up with for hating it.

Reason 1: The need to play every single game on your list.

During any free moment of the day, I decided it would be a good time to spend a quick couple of minutes taking my turn with friends who were waiting on me to draw something. What should have been 5 minutes quickly turned into 45 once my list grew to over thirty friends. It didn’t seem fair to only play with a select few from my list when I had a crowd of people waiting for my glorious drawings.

Fact: DrawSomething is full of powerful sorcery that creates an undying need to take your turn with everyone who is waiting.

Reason 2: It gets way too personal.

I initially started playing with a few close friends. That was fun. Then I started getting game invitations from ex-boyfriends from high school, people I would usually avoid on the street like the plague.

And I was drawing for them.

And they were drawing for me.

They witnessed my finger sliding across their screen. They monitored every stroke, every erasure of a mistake. They judged. This was just way too weirdly personal, and DrawSomething made it seem like it was okay, when it really wasn’t.

Reason 3: Lack of respect for unrepentant 1-coin gamers.

I started to judge the people in my life by which level of difficulty they chose to play. The most surprising of people would constantly choose the 1-coin (or “Easy”) word levels to draw. I ain’t here to play a kid’s game, underachieving friend from college. I started to look at these friends differently. My quickly deteriorating opinion of the people I love was frightening.

Reason 4: It’s called DrawSomething, not WasteMyTimeWithStupidWordClues

“MYTHICAL HORSE NOT A UNICORN” is a phrase someone wrote during one of my games to represent the word “Pegasus”. There was no accompanying drawing. In a fit of rage, I deleted our game and unfriended them from Facebook. In retrospect, it was a little extreme. I’M NOT PLAYING AROUND HERE, PEOPLE.

Reason 5: The pop culture references are all over the place.

From “Elton John” and “The Beatles” to “Tyra” and “OMGGIRLZ”, DrawSomething seems to be lazily casting a wide net for their audience and it’s aggravating. I thoughtless chose to draw “WUTANG” for my boss who begrudgingly exclaimed “Do you realize how old I am?” during water cooler talk the next morning.

Reason 6: Every move you make is recorded.

Do you hate having your every move watched? Do you have drawing delusions of grandeur? Perhaps this game is not for you.

Source: http://memewhore.tumblr.com

Reason 7: The reminder of how sad you are for humanity.

Have you ever tried playing a random stranger on DrawSomething? If you have, you’ll quickly realize that the majority of the population cannot spell. A friend of mine, Travis, drew a beautiful tissue box for a stranger. Here is an example of the horrors that followed:

TISSUU
TISUE
TISSUU
TISOU
PASS.

In conclusion:

Oh, and don’t draw beautiful tissue boxes for strangers.

Bitches Love Pinterest

elly — Sun, 19 Feb 2012 15:23:43 +0000

I have to admit, I’m guilty of following every start-up with a quirky name, and signing up for an account or beta if it’s available. I’m constantly hungry to try out every new-fangled concept developed by a 20-some year old.

Who comes up with these names, seriously?

An app that lets me pay my bar tab from my iPhone? Another e-payment tool with a social plugin that auto-threatens my friends if they haven’t paid me? Oh, the name of your startup sounds like a Pokemon? So innovative.

I heard about Pinterest a little late in the game (they’ve been around since early 2010), and mindlessly signed up for an account. To begin with, they get major cred for allowing you to sign up with your Facebook account. Not only do they please me by making my obsessive-compulsive process of signing up to everything that much faster, they get access to my entire friend’s list in return. It’s a fair shake in my book, if my book was entitled “Please, take all my information, I don’t care.”

I’ve been asked by enough people, “what’s the big deal about Pinterest?” to have to write my point of view on the matter.

It’s a social network that’s actually successful in getting people to whip out their credit cards.
Since the beginning of time (well, in terms of social media time), companies have been trying to find ways to make money from virtual communities of people who aren’t there to spend their money. Businesses ask themselves “How do we sell stuff on Facebook?” all the time. It’s like trying to push a square peg into a round hole, so it’s no surprise that most companies tend to fail when these are their goals and expectations. Pinterest seems to have grown into a social marketplace, and my guess is that this is the way its creators meant for it to be.For god sakes, they’ve got “Gifts” as part of the main navigation. They also include price range as one of TWO ways you can sort through ANYTHING on the site (the 2nd being by category). And on top of that, one of the few ways you can customize your pin is by adding a price to it.

Make that Money, Pinterest.

Bitches love it.
The market for distracting girls on the Internet is tiny. You’ve got social bookmarking sites pining for other types of attention spans. Tumblr hosts a growing teen population and Reddit‘s got web-savvy males wrapped around their finger. Pinterest offers a diversion that caters directly to the emotional needs of women. Right now, they have an estimated 80% female user base. They use it, they find it fun, and they can’t stop talking about it.

Source: Google Ad Planner

There’s no room for “blah, blah, blah”
Visual sharing is growing as a more popular means of expressing yourself. Instagram is seeing tons of growth along with Pinterest – both focus on the casual observance of images. There’s no room for chatter, and chatter is generally the reason I think people are getting exhausted with these huge social networks (looking at you, Google+). Imagine millions of little ants, busily working in silently repinning visuals. It’s not directly social, so there’s no pressure to communicate with others, or keep up with a discussion thread. No one is hurt by not being “followed” back. We’re just building this place out to be our personal creativity hub.

Hoarding is fundamental human behavior.
We’ve all collected something at some point in our lives. I’ve got a giant container of interesting matchbooks I find at bars and restaurants and another one for wine corks. I’ve got all my movie tickets since middle school. As a kid, I collected pogs and Pokemon cards until my parents found the right moment to throw them out once I started liking boys (I’m still mad about that, guys… don’t think I didn’t notice.) Pinterest lets me hoard stuff in a much more sustainable and organized way. I made a theme board of my favorite television actors. Why? Because it’s the acceptable adult version of clipping out pictures of cute boys I liked from Tiger Beat and plastering them all over my bedroom wall.

In addition to catering to people’s need to collect, Pinterest rewards you by allowing others to provide feedback via likes, comments, and re-pins. I love it when people “ooh” and “ahh” at my wine cork collection (ok, that never happens, but it’d make me feel awesome).

They’ve got a good recipe for success and I truly don’t believe they need to broaden their demographic to make that success sustainable. Young women with potentially disposable income will continue making Pinterest a hot topic, so keep the wedding, fashion, and recipe pins coming, ladies. Brands and businesses – prepare to cash in.

Insta-Bad Ass

elly — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 05:06:14 +0000

A recently popular theme in mainstream media has piqued my interest… tough girls. The MIAs and Lisbeth Salanders of the world. I’m talking about the glamorization of women willing to hammer someone’s face in or wave middle fingers in the air on public television. I like it.

I heard this great Louis C.K. joke about “good intentions”. He talks about sitting in first class on a plane and constantly seeing men in the army being sent to war on a commercial airline, having to sit in coach. He thinks so himself, “Man, I should really give my seat up to this guy, who thinks he’s giving his life to his country. He deserves to sit in first class, not me.” Now, Louis never gives his seat up, but he’s perfectly content and proud of himself for even thinking about it.

That’s how I feel about bad intentions. I’m perfectly content thinking I could ever have some malicious intent. Yeah, I’ll break someone’s face for looking at me hard. YEAH. And then I don’t do it, but I think, “Man, I’m such a bad ass for even having that thought.”

Surfing through my Pinterest, a few items caught my eye that goes well with my deeply-seeded tough personality that will never actually see the light of day. While completely superficial, I could use these items to be Desk Job Elly by day, Efficient Vengeance Seeker by night.

: Peacock Feather Tattoo Stockings from Etsy

Let’s start with some faux tattoos. Something a little classy and not overdone. These peacock feather tattoo stockings from Etsy match your skin tone and allow you to rotate the design across your leg. I think my mother would potentially approve.

: Brass Knuckle Ring from Etsy

Nothing makes a night more exciting than anticipating that you’ll need to punch someone in the mouth. Slip on this brass knuckle ring and make sure only worthy dudes lay the mack down at the bar.

: Skull Cut-out Tee

This torn up skull cut-out shirt reeks of creepy-cool. There’s a ton of DIY guides out there that detail how to accomplish this at home, which I suppose is a tough girl thing to do. I, however, exist happily as a poser and am more than happy to financially support our Etsy friends who make them.

MATTE BLACK EVERYTHING.

MATTE BLACK NAILS.

MATTE BLACK CAR.

MATTE BLACK NETI POT.

You get the point.

Troopa Boots from Steve Madden

The most practical touch to this transformation are these combat-style boots. They’re my absolute favorite because I can always class them up with a dress, take them on a night out in lieu of heels and still look simultaneously nice, bad ass, and incredibly comfortable.

And when it rains, get ready for a puddle party.

Fuck you, puddle. I do what I want.

I quit you, Skyrim.

elly — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 03:24:21 +0000

To preface this post, I’m a girl in her mid-twenties with a full-time job. My preferred games in the last couple of years have been short, choose-your-own-adventure titles (think Heavy Rain and Catherine). Besides these, the last long game I played and enjoyed was Kingdom Hearts 2. I’m not a fan of getting every single coin in Super Mario Bros., and I will always try to avoid any side quests whenever I can.

I picked up Skyrim for obvious reasons. Aside from having a metascore of 96, I had various friends gush about how amazing it was. I knew it was a very long, involved game, but I was down with the challenge. If it’s truly this good, I’ll get seduced easily, right?

Let me count the ways I can hate Skyrim in the eight hours I’ve put into it.

Committing a crime is not fun in fantasy-land.

Pick-pocket your friend, he slashes at you with his ancient sword. Steal a horse, faceless guards rush you. Don’t fret, though. Simply pay the appropriate bounty (1,000 gold for murder) and you’re back to a clean slate. Committing a crime here robs you the fun of being a criminal – it turns you into a businessman. Skyrim just took away the fun part of fucking around in an open world game.

…and what the hell are they talking about?

You know the feeling of strolling around town, minding your own business, thinking about the last argument you had and how you’ve finally come up with the most perfect comeback, wishing you could turn back time to serve it? And then you get a whiff of something a little funky. You figure it’s nothing, so you keep walking. But then you stop, and the smell is still following you.

Those intense fifteen seconds as the gears in your brain work to process that yes, you stepped in dog shit.

Those fifteen seconds of processing equate to the four hours it took me to realize that… I have no idea what the hell they’re talking about in Skyrim. Every conversation and loading screen is a hodgepodge of unusual names paired with alien concepts so voluminous that unless you’re a sponge-brained child, you will never fully register.

Wait a sec...

Here’s a prime example of a fun little fact to read while you wait for the next scene to load.

Khajiit are a feline race native to Elswyr. It is infamous for producing Moon Sugar, which can be refined into Skooma.

…okay. At this point, I’m bored of running from Whiterun to Riverdale or whatever while on a stupid side quest I mistakenly chose to show up in my map. I get a loading screen while I’m opening some random door and all of the sudden, it’s like someone sharply turned up the boredom knob. I could not care less about what I was doing, and this fun fact solidified my distaste for the game. I don’t care about your Moon Sugar. Stop filling my head with stupid things.

Mmm, a bowl of cinnamon toast crunch.

Worse yet are the conversations you overhear as you run around town. When I played Grand Theft Auto, they not only had attention-grabbing conversation starters that prompted you to stop your character and walk back to see what they had to say, but as you prompted them to digress, it was rewarding.

Typical comment from pedestrians your encounter playing GTA:

“So I called that girl I met last night, she turned out to be a dude!”

Typical comments from NPCs your encounter playing Skyrim:

“Skjor says that I have the strength of Ysgramor, and my brother has his smarts.”

Oh, god, I’m so bored it hurts.

You get to customize… the back of your head?

NONE OF THIS MATTERS.

You don’t know how excited I was when I was provided with a slider to adjust the size of my jaw. I could do my nose, my mouth, my hair (oh, em, gee!), skin tone – the works. Naturally, I’m a pro. My Sim and Rock Band character look just like me. I watch my characters with pride as they go about their day, watering plants or cooking breakfast. I love you, Sim Elly.

So I spent a good hour customizing my female Wood Elf on Skyrim. She was still a little dirty and manly looking after all of my adjusting, but she was cute enough to prance around Skyrim. Well, I sure hope the guards of Whiterun are noticing her, because for all the time you spend moving your character’s ears up and down, adjusting the space between their eyes, there’s rarely a situation where you even get to SEE YOUR CHARACTER in the face.

I found myself going between first and third person, rotating the camera, and just staring at my character, wishing I had that one hour of my life back. In fact, while obsessively checking myself out, a dragon breathed fire into my face and I collapsed. I hate you, Skyrim.

I have a horrible sense of direction (sorry, fellow women).

And yes, it translates into the game. I’ve spent a collective hour running around trying to find my way around a mountain, only to realize I was following the wrong map icon. I don’t need this in the virtual world, man. I really don’t.

I think I’m running in circles.

Now, I’m only eight hours in, but I feel these are sufficient reasons to quit the game at this stage. I’ve reached a point where I’m bitter at the time wasted, and I’m stubborn enough to hold a grudge for the next eight hours of gameplay.

I hope to see you never, Moon Sugar Cats.

Side note: the guys over at Kotaku had a lot of the same irks I did and more. Check out their take here.

Life Analytics: Why Pictures of Sandwiches Are Never Going Away.

elly — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 04:53:12 +0000

Stop hassling your lunch date for taking a photo of their meal for the fourth time this week. That interestingly angled picture of a sandwich will surely evoke a really nice, pleasant memory in the years ahead.

Ah, the good ol' sandwich days.

Welcome to this generation’s way of documenting life and storing memories and emotions. Your lunch date’s grand kids are going to know their story through their Instagram photos, their social lives will be expressed through their Yelp reviews, and their financial history will be documented on Mint.com.

I’m a huge fan of digitally documenting every facet of my life in order to be able to step back and assess who I am not only through photos, but through a series of charts, graphs, and averages. It’s a seemingly cold way of looking at your life, but I’ll be the first to admit that I feel the same nostalgic emotions looking at a distribution chart of all my FourSquare checkins on any given day as I do watching a home video of a family outing.

As we leave our cameras at home in exchange for our photo-ready smartphones, and ditch our camcorders in exchange for watching the crowd sourced concert videos on YouTube, companies that develop solutions to consolidate all these facets of your life (where you went, what you took photos of, etc.) become extremely valuable.

The following applications are my favorite in achieving an arguably more colorful way of looking at the past:

Travel & Vacations: TripIt.com

TripIt tends to “take me back” to my vacation almost as well as looking through my photos does. Why? Because TripIt visually represents nearly every step you took – every flight, every hotel stay, every tourist attraction, along with the cost of each. Hey, your vacation wasn’t 100% shits and giggles. You paid for that thing with your hard earned money. And that’s why TripIt helps the memory of your vacation feel much more real.

Runner up: TripAdvisor

While TripAdvisor does a classy job at allowing you to input and view all of the destinations you’ve been to, that’s as far as it goes if you’re looking to derive some sort of nostalgia from your travels on their site. Their tools are better suited for exploration and reading up on all of your friend’s bitchy reviews about the dirty hotel they stayed at.

Man... I gotta work on getting more friends.

Social Footprint: FourSquare

As much as people hate on FourSquare for not being a sustainable tool, or for being too intrusive, or whatever the case, it doesn’t a pretty damn good job at Man… I gotta work on getting more friends.summarizing your social footprint into one, exciting, adventurous story. If you log in to your account on your desktop, you can check out your pretty “Stats” page. What days of the week you go out most often, who you hang out with the most, and what spots you’re constantly hanging out at. Not only can you get a beautifully packaged story that includes these elements, but you can change the timeframe and check out what your lifestyle was back when.

December 23rd, oh yes, that day I listened to college radio on my way to the supermarket. Good times.

Audio Nostalgia: Shazaam

Okay, you know the feeling. Such Great Heights by the Postal Service somehow found its way on your Pandora station and you’re suddenly transported to a time when you had stupid emotions and you were crying over stupid boys. Yeah. Well, Shazaam’s “My Tags” function has a less intense way of transporting you back to a song memory.

Don’t worry, it’ll only take you back to a couple of months ago, when you were mindlessly standing in line at Starbucks and you really wanted to know what that sexy jazz song was playing over the sound system (probably Careless Whisper). Not a harsh memory, but a random memory you would’ve never come back to regardless.

Finances: Mint.com

Mint.com is arguably one of the most powerful financial planning and organizing tools for the average person… if you use it right. My husband and I both have had Mint.com accounts since we were in our late teens, and I can literally go back years into my Mint history and saw how each of us transformed from semi-irresponsible teenagers who spent 90% of their income on food and entertainment categories, to semi-responsible adults with more “mature” spending, such as rent and booze. I like to think that Mint will continue to retain all of this history so I can spend the next 10 years looking back and facepalming myself (I’ve paid THAT much in interest charges in the last five years? Geez…)

If I scroll really, really fast from 2012 to 1991, I still look like I'm drunk at the bar!

Wildcard: Facebook Timeline

Facebook is clearly thinking along the lines of a unified type of interface for these types of memories. The timeline feature is aiming to be this kind of memory-reliving experience in a nutshell. However, it’s never going to tell the full story. The check-ins you preferred not to make. The photo of the ugly, yet strangely artistic carpet at the hospital. It’s always going to be limited to the persona you wish to reflect on Facebook, which is why I’m categorizing the new Timeline as a wildcard. Going through photos of me in reverse while scrolling really fast tells a story that stirs up emotions, but is it enough? Yet to be seen.

Do you use any apps or tools that collect your day-to-day activity and spits it back out for you to revisit when you’re feeling a little nostalgic? Leave a comment below.

Digital Housekeeping for a New Year.

elly — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 22:39:09 +0000

I like to be well-prepared to greet a new year. This means having a tidy house, a clean desktop, and an overall clean slate for the 1st of the year. Well, it’s the 29th and I’m freaking out because I just did a vanity search on Google and found a nasty mess of my life.

Apparently in the last couple of years, I’ve signed up for 1,356,389 accounts on “up-and-coming” social networks that never came to fruition, but have an archived version of my profile for the world to see. I also have tons of embarrassingly passionate product reviews published on Amazon.

Offline, I found yet another mess. Unredeemed and soon-to-expire Groupons and Google offer codes. A nasty chunk of daily email I angrily delete every morning. Months of decently Instagrammed photos that deserve a permanent home in my hard drive. Crappy $0.99 iPhone apps I should have never downloaded.

Please join me in some digital housekeeping for the new year so we can stop polluting the world with stinky MBs of… stuff.

Sync up (or nuke) your social media profiles - 2 hours of work
MySpace. Facebook. That one rogue Blogger account you created when you thought posting pictures of your groceries every week would be interesting. Your social identity is all over the place, and people can find this stuff. The Internet vividly represents all of the stupid phases of your lifeand it’s time to create one unified identity. Do a quick search for your name and make all those Amazon reviews anonymous. Did I really passionately review a table lamp back in 2005? Update your photos and bio on the profiles you do want to keep, and nuke the profiles you obviously will never use again. My DeviantArt account from when I was in freakin’ high school can be found when searching for my name.

My emo 17 year old self will cease to exist in 2012.

Remove yourself from useless email lists - 30 minutes
Did you sign yourself up to the top 20 daily deal websites earlier this year thinking you’d only shop for luxury items marked down 50% from now on? Now you find yourself laying in bed before work, deleting the group of 50 emails you get every morning telling you to buy cashmere sweaters from Fancy Brand McGee. This morning routine is something we’ve grown to accept, but it subconsciously fills our heads with promotional garbage that you’d be doing yourself a mental health favor by stopping it. Take 10 minutes to open each of those daily emails, scroll to the bottom and click the handy dandy “Unsubscribe”link. Your inbox will be meaningful again.

Click it for your health.

Delete apps from your phone – 5 minutes
In an inebriated state a few months back, I downloaded an app that plays all the Pokemon sounds. To this day, that app sits on my phone, taking up precious space and in combination with other inane apps, slows down my phone. Take five minutes to delete any apps you haven’t used in the last 2 weeks.

Organize your Groupons, and return any you won’t use – 30 minutes
Remember that fishing Groupon you bought months ago, promising yourself to coordinate a nice fishing trip with your friends in the summer, but really ended up watching Millionaire Matchmaker all weekend instead? Log in to your daily deal site accounts, search your inbox, print your coupons and put them up on your fridge if they’re not already expired. If you don’t plan on using them, many sites will gladly take them back (Groupon has a great return policy).

Groupon cat cares.

Store, upload, organize and print your photos (yes, even the Instagram ones) - 2-5 hours
We know you take some care of your photos from that DSLR you got for Christmas last year. But what about the ever growing amount of photos you take with your phone? The photos of last night’s dinner. The blurry one of you at the bar a few months back. Yes, phone photos are not your best work, but they still document moments of your life and should be deemed valuable, no matter how stupid-looking that Instagram filter made it. Export those photos to your computer and store them properly. If you’re feeling especially creative, create and print your own photo book online on sites like Blurb, or Snapfish.

My future children will surely enjoy these Instragram photos of my pizza/cupcake lunch and self-portrait in the bar bathroom.

You should be able to get through all of this in a day’s work and be ready to take on whatever the 2012 has to throw at you.

Any other tidying up to do online? Leave a comment.

Art Basel Miami 2011: The Game Plan.

elly — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 02:56:45 +0000

My best picks for parties, events, and art fairs for Art Basel Miami Beach.
I chose most of these events based on a set of prioritized criteria:

Will I be able to indulge in copious amounts of free liquor?
Will I be able to get my dance on?
What invite-only events can I shamelessly try to sneak into and pretend to be a celeb at?

For a guide on how to survive the week, check out my other post at Holy Moly: How to Survive Art Basel in Miami.

Tuesday, 11/29

Tuesday is a little slow starting off the week. Take a stroll through the Design District and Wynwood to get familiarized with all the new structures and wall murals that are now up.

MOCA & Vanity Fair International Party
Time: 7pm-9pm
Address: MOCA North Miami / 770 NE 125 Street North Miami Florida 33161
Cost: $25 for Non-Members
Liquor Sponsor: Dewar’s
RSVP: http://www.eventbrite.com/event/2365445110

Art Miami VIP Opening Night Preview
Time: 5:30pm-7pm / 7pm-10pm VIP Preview
Address: 3101 NE 1st Avenue (between NE 31 ST and NE 32 ST) Miami, FL 33137
Cost: $25
RSVP: None, but you can purchase tickets in advance: http://www.lotushouseshelter.org/events.html

Wednesday, 11/30

Art Basel is starting to get in full swing – hit up some the Eleazar Delgado studio for a drink, kick it to the beach to check out some cool art at the Gansevoort and then scale the walls of the Raleigh to catch 2ManyDJs and Soulwax. After you fail, hit up the Pickle for a dance party.

Eleazar Delgado Behind The Lights: Miami 2011 Art Basel Reception – Free Booze Alert!
Time: 6pm-11pm
Address: Eleazar Delgado Studio 2703 NW 2nd Avenue
Cost: Free
Liquor Sponsor: Pernod Absinthe
RSVP: http://www.plugmyevent.com/events/298

Art Basel Kickoff at the Gansevoort Hotel – Free Booze Alert!
Time: 7pm-11pm
Address: The Gansevoort Hotel 2305 Collins Ave Miami Beach FL 33139
Cost: Free
Liquor: Sapporo Beer, Rex Goliath Wines, Zu Vodka, Cointreau, Riazul and Scorpion Tequilla and Perrier Sparkling Water
RSVP: rsvp@miguelparedes.com or 866-534-2184 ext 2244

Jeffrey Deitch Gallery Private Dinner Party / 2ManyDJs & Soulwax – Crash this party!
Time: 7:30pm-12am
Address: The Raleigh Hotel 1775 Collins Avenue
Cost: Free
Special Performance: 2ManyDJs & Soulwax
RSVP: “Impossible” (Nothing is impossible)

Macy Gray (DJ Set and Live Performance) with Rich Medina and Martin Luther, plus a screening of The Art of 5 Minutes
Time: 9pm-???
Address: Bardot 456 North Miami Avenue Miami, FL 33127
Cost: $30
Purchase: http://www.showclix.com/event/206842

Beached Basel Bash – Dance Party Alert
Time: 8pm-3am
Address: Electric Pickle 2826 North Miami Ave Miami, FL 33127
Cost: $10 at the door
Liquor Sponsor: Grolsch, everyone’s favorite art party beverage.
RSVP: http://www.facebook.com/events/174057486020407/

Thursday, 12/1

Using Downtown as your base, check out the OHWOW opening reception, grab a drink at the Miguel Paredes gallery, walk around the Design District and end up at Grand Central for the show. If it’s too packed, head over to Pickle for a fun YACHT show. Hopefully the floor upstairs doesn’t feel like it’ll collapse this time.

OHWOW It Ain’t Fair Opening Reception
Time: 6pm-9pm
Address: 81 NE 40 Street, Miami Design District
Cost: Free?
RSVP: None

Miguel Paredes Fine Art Gallery Perrier Refresh Lounge – Free Booze Alert!
Time: 7pm-11pm
Address: 173 NW 3rd Street
Cost: Free
Liquor: Sapporo Beer, Rex Goliath Wines, Zu Vodka, Cointreau, Riazul and Scorpion Tequilla and Perrier Sparkling Water
RSVP: rsvp@miguelparedes.com or 866-534-2184 ext 2244

Interview Magazine Andy Warhol Film San Diego Surf Screening – Free Booze Alert!
Time: 9:30pm-12am
Address: The Standard Spa 40 Island Venture Miami Beach, FL 33139
Cost: Free?
Liquor Sponsor: Belvedere
RSVP: artbasel@brantpub.com

YACHT (DFA) LIVE – Dance Party!
Time: 10pm-5am
Address: The Electric Pickle 2826 N Miami Ave
Cost: $20
Purchase: http://www.wantickets.com/Events/ShowEvent.aspx?trackingid=656&id=656&activeTab=EventTicketInfo&eventId=96091

Toyota Antics | James Murphy (LCD Soundsystem) | Black Lips | Grand Central – Dance Party!
Time: 10pm-3am
Address: Grand Central 697 N Miami Ave
Cost: Free w/ RSVP
RSVP: http://www.uptheantics.com/discobasel

Friday, 12/2

Check out the Absolut Vodka event in Wynwood. There’s not a lot of info about it but it sounds interesting. Then head to the Fountain for the open bar. You’ve got a few musical choices today – if you’ve got a connection or cash to spend – hit up David Guetta.

Absolute Vodka | Twin Shadow Performance | Mr. Brainwash Exhibit – Free Booze Potential
Time: 8pm-???
Address: 27th Street, 2nd Ave
Cost: Free
RSVP: FRIDAYRSVP@EPOPLIFE.COM

Artlog Presents Opening Night Reception at the Fountain – Free Booze Potential
Time: 7pm-12am
Address: 2505 N Miami Ave
Cost: $10, but tends to have open bar
RSVP: Nope

Moby Acoustic Performance – Packed like a can of sardines just to get a glimpse of that bald head.
Time: 9pm-???
Address: Bardot 456 North Miami Avenue Miami, FL 33127
Cost: $50
Purchase: Sold out online, buy at the door

Yelle Live – Dance Party!
Time: 9pm-11pm
Address: The Fillmore 1700 Washington Ave
Cost: $33
Purchase: http://www.livenation.com/event/0D00473AB17573BC?artistid=1242767&majorcatid=10001&minorcatid=1

F*** Me I’m Famous w/ David Guetta LIV
Time: 11pm-5am
Address: LIV 4441 Collins Ave
Cost: $200
Purchase: http://www.wantickets.com/Events/96559/F-Me-I-m-Famous-w-David-Guetta-LIV/

Saturday, 12/3

Basel Castle is likely the safest bet tonight after you’ve spent the entire day gallery-browsing and food truck-eating. The DFA party at Bardot is likely to be insanely packed, but if you make it in, it’s sure to be EPIC.

Art Whino Reception – Free Booze Alert!
Time: 8pm-12am
Address: 425 NW 26th St
Cost: Free
Liquor Sponsor: Milagro, Izze
RSVP: ArtBasel2011@artwhino.com

Basel Castle – Yelawolf, Penguin Prison, The Rapture, Tamara Sky
Time: 5pm-4am
Address: 41 NW 20 Street
Cost: Free before 9pm, $10 guaranteed all night
RSVP: http://baselcastle.theoverthrow.com/

F*ck Art, Let’s Dance w/ Miami Horror and DJ Harvey – Dance Party!
Time: 8pm-5am
Address: Electric Pickle 2826 N Miami Ave
Cost: $25
Purchase: http://www.wantickets.com/Events/ShowEvent.aspx?trackingid=656&id=656&activeTab=EventTicketInfo&eventId=96155

DFA Art Basel Bash w/ Nancy Whang and The Juan Maclean, and Special Performer – TREMENDO Dance Party!
Time: 9pm-???
Address: Bardot 3456 N Miami Ave
Cost: $32
Purchase: http://www.showclix.com/event/206849

My Favorite Art Fairs (and other things to look at)

Wynwood Walls Pop Up Shop
167 Northwest 25th Street
http://thewynwoodwalls.com/

Nada Art Fair
Time: Till 8pm every day, 5pm Sunday
Address: The Deauville Beach Resort, 6701 Collins Avenue, Miami Beach, FL 33141
Cost: Free
http://nadaartfair.org/

Art Asia Fair – Bring your student ID
Time: Till 7pm every day, 6pm Sunday
Address: NE 1st Ave (Midtown Blvd) @ NE 30th St, Miami, FL 33127
Cost: $20 One Day Pass, Students and Seniors $15
http://www.artasiafair.com/

Art Miami – Bring your student ID
Time: Till 7pm every day, 6pm Sunday
Address: 3101 NE 1st Avenue, Miami, FL 33137
Cost: $15 one day, $30 multi-day pass, $10 Students 12-18 years and Seniors
http://www.art-miami.com

Fountain Miami
Time: TBD
Address: 2505 N Miami Ave at the corner of 25th Street, Miami, FL
Cost: TBD
http://fountainexhibit.com/

Pulse Miami – Bring your student ID
Time: Till 7pm every day, 5pm Sunday
Address: The Ice Palace, 1400 North Miami Avenue, Miami, FL 33136
Cost: General Admission $15, Students and Seniors $10
http://www.pulse-art.com

Scope Miami – Bring your student ID
Time: Till 7pm everyday,6pm Sunday
Address: NE 1st Ave (Midtown Blvd) @ NE 30th St
Cost: General Admission $20 and Students $15
http://www.scope-art.com

BONUS! Art Fair Map: http://batchgeo.com/map/811e880f4fccbe0425f08dab307f7030

Other Helpful Art Basel 2011 Guides:
Art-Collecting.com
Soul of Miami Art Basel Schedule
BeachedMiami’s Art Basel Guide

Catherine Game Review

elly — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 02:56:04 +0000

I just finished playing Catherine, a bizarre horror/action/puzzle game. Your character is a 30-some year old guy who, in short, is presented with a deep fear of committing to his long-time girlfriend which leads to him regretfully cheating on her with a bombshell of an anime girl.

C’mon, you’d totally hit it too.

Gameplay varies between three scenarios, experienced every day for one week straight:

Hanging out at the local bar, making conversation with the bar patrons, reading and sending text messages to your girlfriend and your girl on the side.
Going to bed and having intense nightmares as a result of your moral dilemma, which requires you to climb a dangerous tower by rearranging blocks. A variety of difficult challenges are presented, including a timer, falling blocks, slippery blocks, enemies, and the occasional boss fight. One of them includes a demonic version of your girlfriend.
Keep climbing, or die.
Waking up the next day with a continuation of the story in a more cinematic manner.
I didn’t mean to, I swear…

Catherine has eight different endings that you’re able to reach by making a series of choices throughout the game, which affects your “morality” meter. The conversations you have and the questions you’re presented with all revolve around relationships, infidelity, and love and how you respond to these themes will result in one of various conclusions.

The confessional.

The marketing surrounding this title makes it easy to assume it’s gratuitously sexual, so I found myself having to defend it – it’s a mature game with adult themes and an intensely intriguing story– there’s much to appreciate here.

After playing through it once, I immediately went to Catherine’s Wikipedia page to read up on all the different endings… you’re in for a treat if you approach this game from both extreme angles – moral and immoral.

Prior to Catherine, I played Heavy Rain - another type of “Choose Your Own Adventure” game. I love these games because of the value they provide… I can sit at home playing the same game for weeks trying to alter the storyline (or just read up on spoilers)

Domino’s Pizza Hero App Isn’t Lame.

elly — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 02:53:17 +0000

That distinctive yell, the helpless, agonizing sound that comes out of your mouth when your character dies on-screen. It’s both a painful, yet glorious moment – one that says, “ This is a good ass game.”

I experienced this moment in a very surprising setting - playing the new Domino’s Pizza Hero game for the iPad. But instead of having my character die on-screen, I screwed up making my pizza dough perfectly round for the third time in a row while the Dominos manager incessantly judged my poor performance.

The basis of the game is to be judged on how well and how quickly you make the pizzas to order. It’s simple, straightforward and I can see users picking their iPads up and playing a few games in succession after downloading, which is more than you can say about other types of Advergames.

Clearly, they’re just trying to sell a pizza, but by doing a good job in applying basic game mechanics (levels, achievements, personalization, etc.), the blatant advertising is not offensive.

Lonely Meme Halloween

elly — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 02:51:45 +0000

This Halloween, I decided to be an Internet meme. More specifically, I chose to be Hipster Ariel. As was made apparent by my night of confused and/or disregarded looks, this was a bad idea.

For those who are not familiar…

According to KnowYourMeme, Hipster Ariel (a.k.a Hipster Mermaid) is an Advice Animal image macro series featuring a screenshot of Ariel from Disney’s 1989 animated film The Little Mermaid and a superimposed caption poking fun at hipsterisms.

It was relatively fresh (became popular in February of this year according to Google Insights), had potential for being “Halloween-Appropriate Sexy” and still somewhat recognizable for those who are not familiar with the meme.

So, why did I choose the wrong Halloween costume? I roughly received a 5% acknowledgement rate from strangers of what my costume was supposed to be.

Here’s what a regular conversation on Halloween went:

“You look CUUUUUUTE. So, what are you?”

“Hipster Ar- er, uh, I’m Ariel, from The Little Mermaid.. got that, right? Well, as a Hipster. No? Ok, you know the Internet? Yeah, there’s this funny mem- I mean, funny picture on the Internet… oh, you haven’t seen it? Oh fuck, let’s talk about your costume for a second. I love Waldo.”

You can describe a movie, a song, a TV show plot with success… but an Internet meme? No. Memes are special because you can only truly experience them in the darkness of your man-cave, lit only by your computer screen, while your hands are in your pants for warmth, giggling as you scroll down your Tumblr feed.

In order to make myself feel better about my utter failure, I compiled a short list of other Internet memes and cultural icons to join my club of unrecognizable costumes.

Costume: Aladdin Sane

Confused for: Braveheart

Costume: Image Macro

Confused for: Protester

Costume: I Like Turtles

Confused for: My Parents Hate Me

Costume: Silly Ice Cream Man

Confused for: Klan Man

Costume: Khal Drogo (Game of Thrones)

Confused for: Conan the Barbarian

Costume: Hipster Ariel

Confused for: Tiffany

Next year, I’m going as a basic shape. Or a banana.